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What do you like to be called?
I'm known as Monica, most of my friends call me Mon.
Where do you live?
I'm a south London gal although I feel at home in every part of this metrosexual metropolis.
How long have you been out on the gay scene?
Since my twenties. For me, the scene was in Chelsea; Kings Road, Kensington High Street and Covent Garden.
Now you know my secret - those of you who ask why I support Chelsea.
How old are you?
I count my life by smiles, not tears and I count my age by friends, not years.
You have five children. Are they biological? Are you a co-parent?
The three older ones are biological and yes I am a co-parent to the two youngest.
Was it easy/difficult bringing up your children?
It was both easy and difficult at times. I think most parents would say the same. I got support from some very good friends and partners, for which I will always be grateful and will never forget.
Are your children comfortable with your sexuality?
Yes, well they have never said otherwise or try to hide me away in a box. One of them is also gay and is fully loved and accepted by his siblings. We all love each other unconditionally. Certainly sexuality is never a source of disagreements like football is!
 Tell us about your children
They work in Dramatic Arts. Rikki (Beadle-Blair) is a writer, actor director and producer of films, stage plays and television. He is also a dancer and choreographer'. He has two award winning films Stonewall and Souljah which is a short in this year’s Lesbian and Gay Film Festival. He will be coordinating a Q&A with the audience after the screening of 'Stonewall' on the 1st April. I hope to see some of the readers of blessence magazine there!
Gary, my second son, is an actor, writer and comedian. He has been in numerous films and television series. Some may remember him as Paul Truman in Eastenders.
My first daughter, Carleen, produced Souljah and was in the children’s television series Grange Hill. She appears in many of Rikki’s stage plays and is also a Production Accountant for ITV.
Carleen took me out for my birthday recently. We went to an Italian restaurant. It was a very nice evening - we got a little tidily together.
My youngest son is at university studying philosophy, and my youngest daughter is at a secondary school which specialises in music and Dramatic Arts. She plays several instruments and is studying both Street Dance and Ballet outside of school.
What normally happens for you on Mother's Day?
I usually have breakfast with the younger children. Then they go to their grandmother's house with their other mother. I would then be taken to lunch by my other children, to a really nice restaurant like The Ivy or The Oxo Tower.
What parenting advice would you give?
Encourage your children to be involved in activities and make time to support them in their choices. Choose the type of people and environment that they are exposed to carefully. Read to the younger ones - help them to discover the wonderful world of books and how to critique what they have read.
You recently lost your mother, who meant a great deal to you. Could you tell us a little about her?
I am missing her more as each month goes by. It is just over a year and still feels like only yesterday.
She was very wise and had really great insight in how to deal with life. When I complained to her about having to pay bills she would say: ‘Stop complaining and be glad that you can pay them. The time to worry is when you can't pay them, like some people. Remember, you have enjoyed the benefits so just pay and be happy.' Philosophical or what eh!
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She was 101 when she passed. She lived independently and still had all her faculties. Before she passed I would see her after breakfast on Mother’s Day - she lived across the road.
What advice would you give to those coming out, about life and dealing with their sexuality?
It was a long process before I realised who I really was. There were no openly out gay people to identify with. I would encourage people to be themselves even though at times it may not be easy.
 You recently lost your mother, who meant a great deal to you. Could you tell us a little about her?
I am missing her more as each month goes by. It is just over a year and still feels like only yesterday.
She was very wise and had really great insight in how to deal with life. When I complained to her about having to pay bills she would say: ‘Stop complaining and be glad that you can pay them. The time to worry is when you can't pay them, like some people. Remember, you have enjoyed the benefits so just pay and be happy.' Philosophical or what eh!Find support among understanding friends and join groups within the gay community. This may help when coming out to friends and family.
Don't be in a relationship just to be in one. That is settling for second best. If the relationship is not fulfilling or is not providing what you need, don't stay in it. That's selling yourself short. Being an appendage is not healthy or satisfying. Love yourself more that.
Try to make friends with positive people. The circles we mix in will contribute to how we and (and those of us who are parents) our children view life and relationships.
What activities are you involved in on the scene?
My local LGBT group, and I am a representative of an organised group within Unison, my union.
In the past I have represented lesbians on Council committees and have been a youth worker within a young lesbian group.
I have also worked as a counsellor of young people and women survivors of sexual abuse. Several of my clients were young gay people struggling with their sexuality.
What is your present job?
I am a Family Mediator, dealing with the breakdown of relationships within families.
Last year, at London Pride, I bumped into a black mother and daughter who I had worked with previously. They had a really bad relationship then, because of the mother’s sexuality. They gave me a big hug and thanked me. It was wonderful to see them so happy at a Pride event.
We hear that you recently became a member of the ‘smoke police’.
YES, I recently underwent an operation on my vocal chords. They had been irritated by toxins from smoking both actively and passively. I could have lost my voice permanently. I now try to get as many of my friends and strangers to understand the perils of smoking. I managed to quit because I love myself and my life.
My fear of the consequences is stronger than my desire to smoke, simple. I urge you to think about that.
 What are your thoughts about blessence magazine.com?
I must say that is blooming marvellous and I am sure it will go from strength to strength. I wish I’d thought of it, hee hee. Brilliant and interesting articles and the agony aunt page is so needed.
You have my support one hundred percent.
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