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We didn' t find love inside a club! - Love story - part 2 Print E-mail

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Welcome to part two of the intriguing and unconventional love story of Cheryl & Sam

DO NOT READ ON UNLESS YOU'VE READ THE FIRST PART!

click here for Part 1

If you've read part 1, then enjoy the rest!


Sam: We had a lovely evening, sharing our tastes in music and drinking more rum punch. We felt really relaxed with each other.

I’m not sure what time it was, but we arrived at a natural ‘moment’. The mood was right, the lighting was right, everything was just right. I was sitting on the chair and Cheryl was lying on the floor. We were getting into deep conversation.

Cheryl complemented me by saying she had never met someone like me before. It didn’t sound cheesy, she seemed really sincere.

sam2.jpgThe time was nearing for me to go home and I had already made up in my mind that I was not leaving until I had kissed Cheryl.

I didn’t realise how close she was to me when she reached up to change the music on her computer.

As she leant upwards I kissed her, and kissed her, and kissed her; on her lips, on her neck, on her head...It was really passionate, like the stuff you see on TV where you think, that stuff never really happens!

After that wondrous kiss and really wondrous moment we fell silent.

Blessence Editor (hanging off the chair): Cheryl, how did you feel, from the moment you reached up to change the music?

Cheryl: I saw Sam coming towards me and then it was literally, wow – did that really happen? I had to say; OK, breathe Cheryl! I know it sounds geeky but she really did take my breath away.

It was so unexpected, but to be honest, it was also always a possibility because the relationship was moving in that direction.

By now, my relationship with my girlfriend was very much strained. It certainly did not affect that moment though. You can’t lie about how you feel.

I am so glad that Sam has admitted kissing me because, ever since, she has said that I was the one who seduced and kissed her! (Sam laughs).

It was definitely a kiss that I could only have been given. It was very much one of a kind and I was very much taken aback. (Sam laughs again).

Then, Sam went home (bless Ed looks at them, in shock). We were very, very disciplined!

samcheryl2.jpgSam: I wasn’t taking it for granted that Cheryl was going to be with me because I didn’t know what circumstance or position she was in. I made the choice to kiss her and I was cool with just that.

I was happy to get up and go home, I wouldn’t have been happy to go further.

By then I had known Cheryl for about a year, and I had good, strong feelings about her just as human being. Girlfriend or not she was somebody I would have wanted in my life as a friend.

I was happy to let it take its course and if it would be, then it would be. I also respected what she had to do, for her.

Cheryl: There was no pressure

sam3.jpgSam: You cannot control something like that. We didn’t make each other any promises and I was adamant that we wouldn’t do that. Also, you need to be in a free space to make those decisions.

It was two months after that kiss that we got together and really began to enjoy each other – experiencing new things.

I think Cheryl met me at a time in my life when she was looking for change. I was comfortable with my life. I wasn’t searching or worried about anything. I thought if it works, it works or if it doesn’t then I have met someone nice along the way.

From then we have taken it really slowly. It’s been almost two years. We’ve just returned from The Gambia. We had a fantastic holiday together.

Cheryl: Sam has taught me a lot about relationships. I did say to her: ‘Don’t let me become complacent’. I am happy about the way she loves me. It’s a whole different experience. I have grown. Our holiday was lovely - 14 days of just Sam and I.

We don’t live together because I am still growing. Sam is still at uni and although she is very focused, I sometimes feel I am a distraction although I know that she cannot be distracted.

That’s one of the things I love about Sam. She is very self-sufficient. When I first met her one of the many things I really liked was her independence. She knows what she wants out of life, she has her goals and she’s focused. Overall, she’s a humanitarian. I would say I’m a lover of people.

 

We have great debates where I would give my opinion and she would encourage me to look at it in a different way.

We try to keep our relationship fresh. We will meet up, go for dinner and then say: ‘Right, we’re going back to our own homes’! I had to learn that. It’s great because it has given me more space to grow and become even more independent.

Sam has shown me how to take time for myself and love me as an individual.

Editor: You haven’t mentioned clubbing once! But I’ve seen you inside a club so you must do that too?

Sam: We’re not big clubbers. We tend to go out on my terms - if I feel like it (they laugh).

We like to do lots of other things. That’s important. It’s refreshing that we met in a work environment because we had to take the time to get to know each other.

In a club, sometimes the heat and the music make everything seem better than it is.

Cheryl: I find the gay clubbing scene very fickle. I’ve never formed a relationship with anyone I have met in a gay club. There’s still a lot of growth needed on the scene. I find it to be quite young.

Sam: As you get older, you look for something different, depending on what you like. I know that if I go out to have a good time then I will.

If you are looking to meet people and have a conversation, that’s just not going to happen.

When I first went out on the scene at 18 I found that people were not very open or accessible. Many of us experience isolation anyway so I thought; well if we are all in the same space, why isolate ourselves in a club that’s for us? It didn’t make sense to me.

cheryl2.jpgCheryl: I think the gay club scene is making moves though; it’s definitely more welcoming now.

Sam:
There are so many different events. It would probably be better if the promoters worked together and stop competing because there are not enough people.

Cheryl: The black gay community has definitely moved on, although there is still room for development. UKBP (UK Black Pride) is really popular. I hope it gets bigger.

The club scene is OK for what it is, but I enjoy going to Westminster, taking a boat to Greenwich, sitting in Greenwich Park, stopping off in M&S. Gone are the days where we need to walk with a Dutch pot, we can eat humous now!

I love museums and art galleries and walking along the South Bank.

I don’t look for the action spots too much, but that’s all to do with growth and maturity.

Friendships, let alone relationships are hard to form in action spots. That friendship basis is then formed around that particular spot. You could lose that connection if that spot or club disappears. It’s very superficial.

Culture is important in a relationship. Sometimes, on wet, windy days, Sam insists that we go out - even to a museum, they are free!

Sam: I have difficulty with clubbing as a way of connecting and meeting people. I find it difficult to strike up an enlightening conversation. I feel like I’m transported back to 16 or 17 where it’s all about who you know and what you wear.

As a black LGBT community, culture is extremely important. If we want funding for events we need to show our worth, including our cultural knowledge.

I like to be around lesbians who are interesting. I don’t really care about how many girls you’re sexing (but I would be happy for you), or want to know what Capleton’s next tune is.

For me it’s: ‘Did you see the news last night? What’s happening with the taxes?’

We need some more forward thinking in our community. As someone who pays to go to festivals, a buyer; I would like to see more culture.

And to you couples from both Sam and Cheryl: Keep it real and honest. There’s always room for debate, compromise, understanding and growth. And remember, you can always agree to disagree.

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